Father’s Day is Sunday, June 18.
I’ve been thinking about this blog for the past few weeks, wrestling with myself over what to say. Although I’ve had perfect father stories, I’ve never witnessed one up close and personal. Experience tells me most parents are working out their own issues while trying to raise their children. In my parent’s case, there were 9 children, which means there were a lot of little people vying for their attention. Sometimes that was good and other times it was bad.
The hardest piece to understand was my father’s thoughts of women.
In many ways, it wasn’t all that different from today. Super patriarchal beliefs from those we love, and respect can have a powerful effect on one’s self-confidence throughout life. He was mindful of being alone with women who were not my mother, but he was very rigid about a woman’s place. With six brothers, it meant that all his attention was directed towards them teaching them the ways of men. My duty was to help my mother in the house. My much younger sister’s duty was stay out of the way. I remember one time when he was looking for a family member to take over the office manager position of his small trucking company, I must have said at least three times- I will! I will! I will! Each time, it was as if I said nothing. He picked one of my brothers. This action ignited my competitive spirit and pushed me to make inroads into male-dominated industries. Maybe he had a different future in mind for me- rather than a life in the trucking business.
He mellowed over the years taking particular interest in his grandchildren. Even then, he still had not lost his belief that a woman’s place was in the home caring for the men and the children. Oh, did I tell you in the years before our move, the men ate first, the children next and finally the women. When we moved from the country, these things changed because we had a large enough table to seat us all together. Then it became sacrilegious to not eat all together. Later still, my father took over some of the cooking. Of course, that meant cooking was elevated to its rightful status.
In honor of my father, I wish to acknowledge the gifts he gave us in his special love language:
- Work hard
- Never take charity
- Don’t cheat anyone
- Respect your elders
- Believe in the bible
- Take care of your children
You can see where I’m headed. Life coaching techniques can help you reframe unhealthy thoughts from your childhood. I help you to focus on the good memories while you learn to retrain your mind to focus on your self-worth and your unique gifts.
Take the first steps to personal empowerment and the reversal of negative self-talk. Schedule a free 30-minute life coaching session with me.
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